Sitemap - 2024 - Calm Down

The YELLOWSTONE Finale Was 10 Times Worse Than Hitler. OK, That Was Hyperbole: 5 Times Worse.

SUBSTACK LIVE: TAYLOR LORENZ VS BEN DREYFUSS

An Infamously Stupid Twitter Socialist Told A Lie About Healthcare. It's Why The Left Never Accomplishes Anything.

We Should Have Handled It Better But We Did Need To Take The Land From The Indians

"Gladiator II" Faced A Much Bigger Problem Than Maximus Being Dead

Overthinking Movies: The Blueberry Muffin Scene In Casino

I Am A Liberal. This Liberal On CNN Is Why People Hate Us.

The thing about elections is that sometimes you lose them

Conservatives Say Democrats Would Treat Any Republican The Way They Treat Trump. That's Absurd.

How Kamala Can Seal The Deal And Win The Election

Feedback request: how did you spend election night 2016?

Donald Trump says Arnold Palmer had a giant penis—but did he?

October 7th Was Bad, And So Are The American Leftists Who Celebrated It

My Former Boss Is Going Viral For A Bad Tweet. Is This A Blessing?

There Are Many Interesting Parts Of The Olivia Nuzzi-RFK Jr Thing That No One Has Talked About. Let Me Tell You About Them.

Sometimes Adults Should Order Off The Children's Menu

Kamala Won The Debate. But Did She "Bait" Trump? An Examination Of The Key Moment.

I spent 3 hours playing a puzzle game for "ages 4+"—and got progressively worse at it.

According to a new poll, Americans think our best days are ahead. I've been saying that!

Democrats Want One Thing From Kamala: Victory

Millennials Are Right About Obama (He Is Great)

Australian Breakdancer Raygun Has Regrets

The Ancients Went Up Hills To Explore The Unknown. Now Everything Has Been Found So We Blog.

American Columnists Won't Stop Whining About American Tourists Ruining Europe. But Guess What? Europe Sucks.

Just a cute little anecdote about being young and stupid in Los Angeles

An Incredibly Long Post About Kamala's First Week At The Top Of The Ticket

I've admired Joe Biden since day 1. In stepping aside, he just showed why.

BREAKING: Joe Biden ends reelection campaign

If Biden Won't Step Aside, Here's a Long-Shot Strategy for Him to Actually Win

Joe BIden Showed He Doesn't Need To Resign. He Didn't Show He Should Run For Reelection.

Let Us Discuss The Crazy People Attacking The Media For (Belatedly) Covering Biden's Age

Episode 1: The Flight 93 Convention (with Harry Dreyfuss)

A story my dad told me about Ronald Reagan

Biden Should Step Aside—and Democrats Should Act Like Adults

Meet The Dapper Young Morons Who Should Stop Calling Themselves Reporters

Donald Trump Was Convicted. What Does It Mean? Good Question. I'll Tell You What It Means.

My Dad Is In The News. The Fake News Tabloids Are Lying About My Reaction.

If you truly want Democrats to win, don't listen to people who cry about the media

"You depressed about the news, Eddie?"

A humorous little anecdote from my childhood no one should get upset about

I know why Gen Z doesn't much care for Israel at all, no sir

The NYPD Didn't Beat The Columbia Protesters. So, The Left Just Lied And Said They Did.

Kidney Function Is Apparently Like The Tide: It Comes And It Goes

These Kids At Columbia? They're Bad. How Bad? Almost 6,000 Words Bad.

Nuclear War: A Thing That Would Be Bad

A short little dialogue with myself about dentistry

Let's do it. Let's ban TikTok.

The Film INDEPENDENCE DAY Contains A Dishonest Lie

Bruce Willis Is Great. Here Is A Funny Story About Bruce Willis.

Wow, You Guys Really Like Posts Making Fun Of The West Wing. OK, Here's Another One.

Demi Moore Is Great. Here Is A Funny Story About Demi Moore.

The West Wing Is The Dumbest Show In The Entire World. Here Are 5,000 Words About One Classic Episode.

JOB LISTING: EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

The New York Times Has A Slack Emoji Problem

A Letter To Wil Wheaton About Elmo

Democrats Need To Take A Pill And Calm Down

Trump Can Delay His Trial. But Can He Delay It Enough?

Help! I Suspect I Know Why My Wife Has Been Acting Like A Lunatic In Public, But She Won't Admit It

A lot of people don't like you. Don't have a nervous breakdown or anything. That's life.

i don't have an answer here, i'm just curious what you think

Eating Alone At Restaurants Is Fun And Good. But Only The Truly Self-Confident Eat At Benihana Alone.