Sitemap - 2022 - Calm Down

Romanian Cops Did Not Find Andrew Tate Because Of His Greta Thunberg Video

The US Is Not Responsible For China's COVID Policies

There Is Nothing Important Going On So You Might As Well Read This Post About "Scream"

The worst dog-sitter in America received some very bad advice from the NYT

A Parent Told Their 4-Year Old A Very Stupid Lie And Wants To Know If It Was A Mistake (Yes)

"Vibes" Are For Stupid People. The 2022 Midterm Election Should Prove It.

Elon Musk Said He Wanted To Make Twitter Trustworthy. He Then Instantly Stepped On His Own Dick.

Political Fundraising Emails Must Be Destroyed

Three Brave Predictions About Twitter Under Elon Musk

Tucker Carlson & Sean Hannity Just Got Exactly What They Both Deserved

Twitter and the media: A dysfunctional marriage that isn't about to end.

Help! My Friend May Have Slept With A Married Man! Should I Chop Off Her Hands Myself?

It's Somehow Been 6 Years Since I Cracked Up And Went To A Mental Institution

A Nosy Mother Who Thinks Her Daughter Is A Racist Asked Slate For Advice. The Advice Slate Gave Was Terrible.

Don't tell my sister but I am very proud of her

Two People Asked The New York Times For Relationship Advice. I Have Honest Answers For Both.

9/11 Is Finally Allowed To Drink Legally

The Queen, She Is Dead

A personal note about my Substack...

Should You Force Your Daughter To Be Friends With An Unpopular Kid In Her Grade?

Do You Have To Let Your Coworker Have Sex With Your Husband?

An Orphan Has A Question For The New York Times. I Have An Answer.

If You Prick A "Nepotism Baby," Does It Not Bleed?

People Who Have Visited The US Are Sharing Their Top Travel Advice—And It Could Be Worse!

3 Idiot Fathers Asked An Advice Columnist 3 Idiot Questions. Here Are My Very Good Answers.

A special note for my mom on her birthday

The room my father kept

Walking Out Of Things You Hate Is Good, Actually

Wait, This Whole Time We Could Have Solved Climate Change For $369 Billion?

"What's a little flick of the steering wheel?"

To People Who Cried About Me Hunting Someone With A Paintball Gun...

Democrats should not hope that Donald Trump runs again.

A hilariously bizarre proposal to circumvent abortion bans

THREAD: So, A Genie Knocks On Your Door And Makes You An Offer...

Why Republicans Shouldn't Want Donald Trump To Run Again

I Have A Dumb Question About Gun Crime

If you think Jon Stewart should run for president, you should go to a mental asylum

The Left's Obsession With Labels: Nazi Edition

Google will make your life worse to placate incompetent Republicans

The problem with New York Mag's story about the teenager who was canceled

There is no reason for you to care about Tesla's remote work policies

I Loved "Top Gun: Maverick" But I Did Have One Problem With It

Progressives Need To Stop Obsessing About What To Name Things

The one conspiracy theory that maybe is true

Stop Biting Your Tongue Out

Sometimes the act of giving isn't about the gift at all is Joe Biden’s Presidency going? (featuring Josh Barro)

What Happens On The Internet Doesn't Stay There (featuring Emily Dreyfuss)

What tweets did people get mad at me for this week? A series.

Social media didn't make you an ignorant jerk. It let you become the ignorant jerk you wanted to be.

A Simple Solution To The Airline Mask Wars

Democrats Are Facing Doom—And No One Seems To Even Have Any Suggestions

Please, Dear God, Stop Crying About Will Smith.

Would Gordon Gekko Actually Go To Prison For His Actions In "Wall Street"?

Will Smith Slapping Chris Rock Is Hilarious. Please Stop Treating It Like 9/11.

The most hilarious paragraph I read this week

Question and Answer Advice Hotline!!!

We're cannibals. But don't worry: we only eat each other.

This dude from the NYer had a dumb thought about cancel culture. Here is a rant in response.

I was on the Shitty Media Men list. A few years later, my new small town found out about it.

What I really learned in a mental institution: Solitaire (Klondike)

A Very Serious Question I Have For The Screenwriter of "Grosse Pointe Blank"

A very good story about Hollywood

Donald Trump has a very bad idea

The Problem With Basically Every Tweet About Ukraine

The GOP would like to remind you that it has lots of unpopular positions unrelated to Trump

Sarah Palin Lost (Good!) But The New York Times Really Did Screw Up (Sad!)

Who goes to heaven?

The most likely way Trump becomes president again is one Democrats aren't talking about

Is Snow White A Bigot For Failing To Consider Having Sex With The Dwarfs?

Dreyfuss & Son

Harry Potter is not suddenly "cringe." You've just gone crazy.

Help me write a novel people will buy at the airport

Thank you for your support

Donald Trump's friends had a plan to steal the 2020 election. It was the dumbest plan on Earth.

Gerald Ford Told NYC to Drop Dead. Here's Why It Didn't.