A hilariously bizarre proposal to circumvent abortion bans

It involves the Coast Guard.

Photo by Mark König on Unsplash

There are a number of very weird, out-of-the box ideas that liberals have floated in the last few weeks to get around abortion bans. My favorite is this sort of bizarre suggestion that Biden should open abortion clinics in national parks.

That idea sounds compelling in the abstract. There are lots of national parks and lots of federal land. The states where those lands are located do not have jurisdiction there. You can sort of squint and see how this idea appeals. The problems arise when you think about it a little more. Are the abortion doctors in Yellowstone living in Yellowstone? If they ever plan on leaving the park, it seems like they’d be opening themselves up to prosecution.

“With this proposal — we understand the proposal is well intentioned,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters. “But here’s the thing: It could actually put women and providers at risk. And importantly, in states where abortion is now illegal, women and providers who are not federal employees, as you look at the federal land, could potentially be prosecuted.”

“As we understand why they would put forward this proposal, there’s actually dangerous ramifications to doing this”..

That idea is very problematic and the White House shot it down pretty quickly, but it did have a large base of support. It was suggested by Elizabeth Warren and AOC.

This one I’m about to point out does not have a large base of support and appears to just be some random idea someone had, but it is very funny.

T.J.R. in Metuchen, NJ, asks: Say Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin announces a new plan: a one week enlistment with the Coast Guard, with training centers in New York, California, and Illinois (to keep those pesky Canadians from Lake Michigan). The emphasis would be on women recruits to, um, balance out gender inequity among recruits. New recruits would receive free transportation to and from their homes and housing (enticements to get new recruits, y'know). Quite coincidentally, each base would be very close to a center focusing on, er, women's health issues. No discrimination, of course, if a potential recruit happened to be pregnant, of course. That would be so wrong.

Is this plausible at all? Or, while well-intentioned, entirely crackpot?

So, let me get this straight…