Is Snow White A Bigot For Failing To Consider Having Sex With The Dwarfs?

A dialogue.

A conversation between two sides of my brain.

Why didn’t Snow White have sex with the dwarfs? 

I don’t know. Maybe she did.

No, she didn’t. 

I guess I haven’t seen the movie in a while.

OK, well, take my word for it, she doesn’t have sex with the dwarfs.

What’s it even about again?

Snow White is an orphan princess and she meets these dwarfs and they invite her to live with them and they all become very close and then the evil queen casts a spell on Snow White and she falls into a coma and the dwarfs go and find Prince Charming and he kisses her while she’s asleep and breaks the spell.

Seems like the real problem here is about consent!

Yes! True, but we’re here to talk about the dwarfs.

Why?

Because Disney is doing a live-action remake of Snow White and the 7 Dwarves and Peter Dinklage says it is offensive to dwarfs.

Why is it offensive? It sounds like dwarfs are the heroes.

YES! Thank you. That is my point.

Peter Dinklage wants Snow White to have sex with the dwarfs? 

No, I don’t think so. Well, maybe. I don’t really know what he wants. He gave an interview on the Marc Maron podcast in which he criticizes the remake as being “a backwards fucking story about seven dwarfs who all live together in a cave.”

OK, well—

I’m not done yet. Importantly, the dwarfs don’t live in a cave. They are miners. They work in a cave. They live in a cottage.

Why is that important?

Because it’s his only direct criticism! He says that they live together in a cave, but 1) people have roommates. That isn’t weird, and 2) they don’t live in a cave. They live in a cottage.

Do the dwarfs want to fuck Snow White?