Sitemap - 2023 - Calm Down

A Post About Thanksgiving That No Other Liberal Is Going To Write

The Democratic Freakout About Biden's Poll Numbers

Yes, Osama bin Laden Went Viral on TikTok.

I Just Learned A Crazy Story About A US President Which Somehow Is Not On Wikipedia

Who Killed The Hooker In The Godfather Part II? An Investigation.


Hamas Is Bad. People Shouldn't Defend Hamas.

It Is Time To Say Goodbye To The Twitter Guy

Democrats cannot save Republicans from themselves

In The GOP Presidential Primary, There Is Only Dumb Money

Donald Trump Is A Test. Mark Milley Passed.

The Case For Being Optimistic About The Post-Trump GOP

Renaming Your Toxically Unpopular Political Position Will Not Make It More Popular

I Watched 10 Episodes Of Undercover Boss And Now I Am A Communist

Hollywood Writers Want Streaming Viewership Data. It Will Change Everything Forever.

The Moment In The Debate That Made Me Hate Vivek Ramaswamy

Help! How Do We Tell Our Rich Friend That He Smells Like He Lives In A Sewer?

What Should These Losers Running Against Trump Do?

81 Very Specific Predictions About The 2024 Election

The truth about Hunter Biden

What The Film Straw Dogs Can Teach Us About America's Mental Health Crisis

The last post you will ever read about the ethics of reclining your seat on an airplane

This WaPo Advice Column About How To Respond To Compliments Is Giving Me A Stroke

JFK and RFK are overrated, but RFK Jr. is a circus freak

Snow White & The Seven People Of Various Sizes Who She May Or May Not Be Attracted To

The story of Jeff, Bill, & Gary, who went into the hills, then came back, & told us about it

The thing about elections is sometimes you lose them

They should make a new sequel to Jaws. Here is my pitch.

Someone tried to kill me. I didn't know how to talk about it. I still don't.

Let's Discuss The Left Wing Psychopaths Who Think The Titanic Tourists Deserve To Die

"Silo" Is Attempting Something New That No Serialized Show Has Attempted Before

This Advice Column Was So Bad That Slate Actually Deleted It

You Had An Affair. Should You Confess To Your Spouse?

One Woman Hates Her Friend's Kids. Another Hates Her Own Kid. I Have Advice For Both.

How A Pandemic Puppy Taught Me To Accept Being Loved

When did this political moment begin?

The segment that got Don Lemon fired was everything wrong with cable news

The Social Media Era Of News Is Over. It Probably Didn't Happen Soon Enough.

A Calm Down Audio Story: My First Murder

Help! Must I Tell My Wife About This Thing That Happened With Our Son?

An overly-personal ramble that I would have put on Twitter but I am now putting on Substack

Fine, I admit it. Elon Musk is ruining Twitter.

People Who Hate Donald Trump Should Be Happy That The Media Won’t Stop Talking About His Arraignment

Help! Two Single Guys Want To Know If They Are Bad Men. I've Got Answers.

The sneering tyranny of unnecessary beeps

Bottomless french fries? In this economy????

Ghostface (from Scream) is not very good at murder

A funny thing about this Kari Lake-Mel Gibson photo

A review of "Creed III" from someone who cares about Rocky more than world hunger

The case for getting the shit kicked out of you by love

If You Think The Andrea Riseborough Oscar Nomination Is Racist, You Are Being Used

Stanford Student Reads Famous Book, Other Students Freak Out

Bad Stove, Bad Stove, Whatcha Gonna Do? Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For you?

Kate Winslet Knows A Secret About Humans And You Should Know It Too