If the economy is so good, why won't people stop complaining about cheeseburgers?

A dialogue.

“The economy is good.”

“No, the economy is bad.”

“No, the economy is good!”

“The economy is bad! I know this! Everyone knows this!”

“The economy is good and everyone who knows what the fuck they’re talking about knows the economy is good.”

“Well, I’m sure it’s good for rich baby boomers who own homes!”

“Job growth is steady! GDP is good!”

“Prices are up.”

“Wages are up more!”

“But prices are up.”

“But inflation is down!”

“But prices are higher than they used to be.”

“Inflation was way too high, and prices went up a lot, but inflation is back down, so prices aren’t growing at a dangerous rate anymore. The US has had the lowest inflation of any G7 country this year.”

“But prices are still higher than they were.”

“For them to go down, we’d have to have deflation. And deflation is bad.”

“I want some deflation.”

“This is what I mean about how people like you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Deflation is something that happens when the economy actually is not only bad but in crisis.”

“But cheeseburgers are too expensive. I saw a cheeseburger on TikTok that cost $16.”

“Right, but TikTok is screwing with you. TikTok is giving you a warped view of prices because exceptional examples of exceptionally expensive things go viral.”

“Oh, so it’s TikTok’s fault? Jesus Christ! Who are you, Nikki Haley?”

“TikTok has convinced millions of people that they are autistic because they have at one point or another, felt mildly uncomfortable in social situations. I don’t know why you’re dismissive of the idea that it could have accomplished the much simpler task of warping your sense of the economy.”

“Reds under the bed! Reds under the bed!”

“Excuse me?”

“You just don’t like China.”

“I don’t like the Chinese government.”

“The prosecution rests.”

“My feelings about China are actually unrelated to the cheeseburger or the role TikTok may have played in perceptions of the economy.”

“Did TikTok invent the expensive cheeseburger? Is it fake news?”

“No, the cheeseburger did cost that much.”

“Well, that’s too much.”

“You don’t even eat cheeseburgers”

“WHAT? Yes, I do! I ordered a cheeseburger recently on UberEats and it cost like a trillion dollars.”

“Well, using UberEats makes it more expensive.”

“I used to use UberEats all the time and it was less expensive.”

“Yes, but then interest rates went up and money got tighter and Silicon Valley stopped being so happy to run losses and raised prices.”

“Why did interest rates go up?”

“TO LOWER INFLATION.”

“Pretty ironic situation we’re in then, isn’t it?”