The Case For Being Optimistic About The Post-Trump GOP

Plus: An anecdote about the Roman Empire.

Once upon a time, there lived a Roman emperor named Vespasian. At the age of 70, in the year 79 AD, Vespasian fell ill with an intestinal disorder. As he lay in his bed, surrounded by his imperial court, he uttered the immortal words, “Vae, puto deus fio.”

I think I am becoming a god.

Because that’s what happened when you were a Roman Emperor and you died: you became a god.

Your flesh, it would rot; your blood, it would dry; your body and your bones would turn to dust. But you? You’d be made celestial, ascend to godliness, and become divine.

Through death, you would reach perfection.

“Vae, puto deus fio,” Vespasian said, and then he shit himself right into a heavenly state of flawless glory.

This is arguably the most famous case of diarrhea-based apotheosis in all of recorded history.

So far.

What will happen when Donald Trump shits himself to death, either electorally or actually?