Archive - Advice of Calm Down

Help! Must I Tell My Wife About This Thing That Happened With Our Son?

This is an advice column. I, Ben Dreyfuss, have neither a wife or a son.

Feb 24 •

February 2024

Help! I Suspect I Know Why My Wife Has Been Acting Like A Lunatic In Public, But She Won't Admit It

This is an advice column.

Feb 4, 2024 •

August 2023

Help! How Do We Tell Our Rich Friend That He Smells Like He Lives In A Sewer?

We also have letters about adultery and alcoholism.

Aug 25, 2023 •

July 2023

This WaPo Advice Column About How To Respond To Compliments Is Giving Me A Stroke

Bad letter, bad response.

Jul 21, 2023 •

June 2023

This Advice Column Was So Bad That Slate Actually Deleted It

But I am here to take it seriously!

Jun 1, 2023 •

May 2023

March 2023

Help! Two Single Guys Want To Know If They Are Bad Men. I've Got Answers.

And we have a first for the Calm Down advice column!

Mar 31, 2023 •

November 2022

A Parent Told Their 4-Year Old A Very Stupid Lie And Wants To Know If It Was A Mistake (Yes)

A guide to lying to your children.

Nov 14, 2022 •

October 2022

Help! My Friend May Have Slept With A Married Man! Should I Chop Off Her Hands Myself?

Knock knock. Who is there? Advice and we have a warrant so open the door and don't get cute.

Oct 1, 2022 •

September 2022

#nojs-banner { position: fixed; bottom: 0; left: 0; padding: 16px 16px 16px 32px; width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; background: red; color: white; font-family: -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol"; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13px; } #nojs-banner a { color: inherit; text-decoration: underline; } This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts